Let's Talk Marriage. And Kids. And Life.

Remember when you met the one you're with....

Remember when you got engaged.....

And EVERYONE told you how hard Marriage was....

And you thought to yourself...

Hmm.. Maybe for YOU.

And then...however many months into your Marriage you came to a point where you had to compromise on something, or you had your first really big disagreement.

and you thought to yourself...

Man.  Marriage IS hard.

But you make it through.  Whatever life throws at you...you make it through.

And then you decide to have Children.

And people tell you...

Children are amazing, wonderful, THE best thing that will happen to you......
But!....
BOY is it life changing.

And you think to yourself...

Ummm...not my children!  My children will be perfect, and never embarrass me, and will ALWAYS listen, and I'm always going to be patient, and kind and they will fit into MY life.  I WON'T be fitting into THEIRS.

And then....

You're at the grocery store on a Friday night and you find your daughter holding on for dear life to the can food aisle shelf in a frog like position.  You realize very quickly what she is doing and when you tell her to come here, she says back to you in her loudest voice, No Mommy!  I POOPING! ...

And you think to yourself....

Children ARE life changing.....

Which got me to thinking.....Both of these warnings from your loved ones, friends, strangers in Safeway....They have SO many meanings.  So many layers to the words.  

My Marriage being hard, is probably totally different from YOUR marriage being hard.  

Clay and I were away from each other for 6 months. TWICE.  We have been Married since we were 20!  We grew up together. We were each others first room mates.  

Our list goes on.

But being Married is the best thing that EVER happened to me.  Meeting Clay is the BEST thing that ever happened to me.  I am who I am because of him.  And any bit of "hard" that is dished out.  We eat it up, lick our fingers, and wait for the next helping.

Having children DID change my life. But not just because I can't go to Happy Hour on a whim or because we can't Fly off to Hawaii whenever we want. But Because, I'm a Mom. A caring person. The old Heidi could care less if she watched Dateline about an abducted child, and how the Parents were missing her for months before they found here.  I mean it was sad don't get me wrong...I am HUMAN.  but THIS Heidi can't watch ANYTHING about children without tearing up and then obsessing for days that it might happen to mine.

We are blessed in SO many ways.  Having the help that we do, and people in our lives that make our life more enjoyable.  We are more sane because of them and SO grateful for each and every one of them.

I thought a lot this weekend about the stress that life holds.  Clay and I are under extreme stress.  Two demanding jobs, two demanding children, one demanding lifestyle.

But we make it through, and to tell you the truth, if I don't stop to think about it...it goes almost unnoticed.

Until that stress is lifted.

This weekend, I had no kids to parent, No work to complete, nothing but have a good time with the Man that I Married.

And that's just what I did.  I looked across the table at him this weekend and thought to myself.....

 God, I love him. 

 I REALLY love him. 

We are SO good together.  He gets me.  And he always has.  AND he still loves me, even though my faults are crystal clear to him. 

And then I said....

You know...we could handle 3 kids...

;)

(See what wine and a little relaxation does to a person....)

And he smiled..and said...we could....But....

:)

Upon our return home the kids were like wild banchees.
He looked at me again and smiled.
Then he whispered, remember at Lunch when you said we should have 3...

And there we were, back in reality, rested, a little more patient, a little more in love, and a whole lot better for it.

So in conclusion.
Marriage is Hard.
Children are Life Changing.
And this Girl...

Wouldn't have it any other way.